TO BE YOURSELF IN A WORLD WHICH IS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO SOMEBODY ELSE IS THE BIGGEST THING..

Hmm..life is going too fast..and probably i am going too slow..for me relations are much more important than anything else..and i believe...we should make new relations only when we are able to handle old ones..otherwise problems arises..and it defficult to fight trobles when human's emontions are involved..
Different people different things..everything tries to change one’s behaviour..and as I believe..to be yourself in a world which is constantly trying to make you somebody else is the biggest thing..people often change..i have seen them..who have turned strict, stiff ,who have forgot that once they had a great sense of humour..that they were full of life..but thanks to troubles around them..which remains constant and thus successful..
They fight the troubles..fight them selves to overcome the problems..but finally they surrender.. its difficult to solve all the problems..and come out winning..and the easier way is to escape the troubles..but ..difficulties are not just ours..but our near and dear ones are involved..and that stops us to run away..(plus we don’t have enough money to escape)..
In my case..something similar happened..and its keep on repeating its self..(as if we love it..!)..i am too changing..turning negative..fighting life..at one time I laugh like anything..as if I just needed achance to get started with my never stopping smile..and other times I feel totally low.. and believe me..these extremes are killing me..as every other person I want to live happily..fight things but at the end come out as a winner..but I fight fight and fight…get all my energy back..talk to different people..who can help me..suddenly..i feel as if I am back on track again..only till the same problem rise again…and I am back on zero..even people with whom I share things get bored of listening the same things again and again..
You know I love life..because its beautiful..i love the people around me..i love life..because it gives me different challenges and difficult situations..but when I get the same situation again again..i get bored of life..i feel..”NOT AGAIN”..(abhi to sab theek hua tha..)..
Huh..! I don’t want to change myself..i don’t want to get sick of the problem and get moulded according to it..i am a human not a clay with a different identity and uniqueness…oh god..help me not change..into a tough.strict..someone who have forgotten whats life is all about..
Want to be a winner in life..:)

A NOT SO ADVENTUROUS RAINY DAY

A rainy day..!

I had my class at 3.. Yes an important english class..but it was really raining hard.. It takes more than an hour to reach my institute..I had an only option to wait for rain to stop..and guess what,it actually stopped at 2..and in a hurry i left for the metro station but yeah i was taking babysteps to avoid wet mud which could spoil my shoes and jeans..i reached my usual palce to ask for Rikshaw and i was answered Rs.15..! I ignored and moved ahead to find the one who can take me to metro station in Rs.10..and finally i got one.. Though Rikhawwalah agreed to this amount..he warned me, 'if we'll get a jam,you'll have to go onfoot further' and i said yaya obviously! And we started..entered the to our destination and against my expectations,we got a big bigg jam..but how could i leave rikshaw and walk instead..i could hardly see any road..it was all water..! And when i was thinking..what next,rain started again..the heavy rain..!it was 2.30 already now..the only thing i could think of was to move back and get an auto in such a big shower..where water was was trying to reach me in all possible ways..! So we moved back..towards the bus stop..i could see the three autos..i asked them all..one by one..two denied..and the last one using no head opened his mouth..'Rs.50..!'!! How could he..! I was getting late with each second..now i could only think of getting back to my lovely home and miss my class and attend a backup class some other day..In this whole process..i was connected to my mom through my dearu mobile..and finally i reached home..did i say FINALLY??!! NO not so soon..mom was ready with her terrific idea..yaya as i reached home..rain stopped again..,as if it was playing with my emotions..!!huh..! MOM: 'why dont you take rikshaw and reach the other nearby station..?' And i said wow mom..good idea..same time i left home again..went out..took rikshaw..and as i was going this NEW STATION for the first time..i didnt know the way..! Rikshawwalah took Rs.10..yes a fair price..BUT he stopped at railway crossing..yes rikshaw was not allowed further..huh..i made my mind at this point of time..what if i get half an hour late in a class of two hours..afterall i had an excuse..it was raining..and i had to walk further..i crossed abig 'nala' through a tin placed over it..then the crossing..huh..i reached my end..!but still i could not see anything like metrostation..i looked above..i could see a bridge..and metro was running over it..i could imagine..metro looking at me and givig me a challenge.."CATCH ME IF YOU CAN"..I asked one where i should go..i was directed left..i walked and walked..FINALLY..reached my primary destination..my one hour mission..i found something..THE METRO STATION..i looked into my cell phone to look for the time..and it was 3.30 now..! "WHAT!!"was my reaction..This meant i would reach my class at 4.45..and it would get over at 5..!i stopped..1 15 minutes class..with no further delays..i looked here and there..i saw a rikshaw coming..i asked him to drop me at my home..and now a few minutes more..and i was back home..all tired..

Thanks to the rain..rikshaws..auto drivers..MCD..and evryone involved..that i had.. " A NOT SO ADVENTUROUS RAINY DAY "

SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO WONDERS..

Whenever i am totally lost with myself and my pain,there is always someone or something to help me out,to give me an unexpected support and relief..that someone can be my closest pal,friends,my family..and if no one is around,God has to be there!
It becomes very easy in life when we have problems but we also have someone to share things..but the most difficult time as when we feel lonely,neglecte and start looking for help..we find no one!
Sometimes i ask myself how can i be alone when i have all the good people in my life but then if i observe a little closely,i find everyone is busy..
if i can share it with him,why cant he share it with me..
if i am asking for help,why cant someone give me a response i expect..
if i find him as the only support.why he is unaware of it..
and these qustions stop me to call anyone and i am left all alone..
then i read my diary..all the positive things i wrote,i see all the msgs my friends sent..i start feeling better..though everyone cant be with us all the time..but their memories are always there with us..their words makes us feel loved..
YES SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO WONDERS..a friend is not a word of formality and not everyone can be our friend..but its a special feeling..family and friends..an ultimate support..let them be busy..but trust me they are always there..
come on..God cant leave us alone..there is always a gennie..

train n mah covrd face...!

train n mah covrd face...!

Dis is d 5th dy of mah chickenpox..
N m goin bk 2 home..
its a hott summer dy n m in train..Magadh Express whch m sure is d slowest train evr made on dis planet..
M coverd wd a light cloth bt unfortunately its thick enuf 2 resist ma oxygen..!
Ys m feelin d heat..
every male arnd me s curious 2knw,y my face is coverd..as if m hidin diamonds..
its a 4hr jrny..n as i sed..ds slowest train wud probably tk ma liftime..
Ppl takin rubbish..thos strnge train discussions..bt yeah ds sounds btr dan feel d silence..
A cute child s playin here..n makin an irritatin noise..he s succesful,my momjz lukd at him..!
ds may b d 1st litle child continuously sayin 'pappa' n ignrin his lovin mom..
Ds cloth s irritatin me again..N guess wat..des job less ppl r wonderin wt m typin in my cell phone..!!
N d next station is ghaziabd..only IF no new stations a created by ds EXPRESSO..!
M waitn 2 entr ghaziabad..atlst i wud b able 2 msg mah frnz n complain abt ds SUPER DUPER SWIFT....huh.....

m diseased..

yes, m diseased..
im on bed n ma routine is ceased..
i thot dey r jz d pimples..
but dy wr nt d juz dey bt..yes i had chickenpox..
wen i heard d term,oh mah god..chickenpox..!
i wasnt at home..
no dad no mom..
jz mami n sis..
wt wl b dun..wts dis..
i felt helpless n strted cryin..
n mami mami sed..u r lik our own child..
i cried mre bt flt btr..
strted feelin dt m nt alone evry1 s dre..
N dys pasd on a half bed..
i ws turnd ugly n red..!
my nani brot neem fr me..
i used 2 smell it feel d tree..WAH NEEM!!
Oooh m nt gvn cold watr..in ds hott summer..
m nt alowd 2 feel d breez..on d top above..
N guess wt..cnt evn bath..
ds ws mah three dys path..
my mom is bk n i wana leav 2mrw..bt how wd ds face..it wud tk atlst a wk or mre..oh......